


Christmas Crimes

by ch19777



Category: The Mentalist
Genre: Drabble Collection, Gen, Paint It Red Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-01
Updated: 2014-01-01
Packaged: 2018-01-07 01:27:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1113886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ch19777/pseuds/ch19777
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>12 prompts, 1200 words. 10 drabbles and 1 double drabble for the Paint It Red Christmas Challenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Christmas Crimes

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Paint It Red Christmas Challenge.

**Candy cane**

"Death by candy cane?" Lisbon asked, incredulous after reading the autopsy report.

This murder investigation was a farce: a victim clad in an elf costume, reindeer hoof prints all over the crime scene and now the tip of a mint-flavored candy cane inside a puncture wound. Even if they ever discovered the rest of the assumed murder weapon, getting finger prints off the sticky surface would be a nightmare.

Aloud she mused what could bring someone to kill another person using holiday candy.

"'Tis the season," Jane remarked dryly, not even looking up from his copy of A Christmas Carol.

 

**Snow**

The snow crunching under her soles was the only sound on this moonlit night. The miraculous onset of winter had subdued everyday life in California, but it reminded Lisbon of a long-lost past when snow still had been an essential ingredient of the holiday season for her.

The air already felt warmer than only just this afternoon, hinting at an imminent thaw. Lisbon's reminiscence of childhood Christmases already ended a few steps deeper into the woods, when white got replaced by red, silence by hushed bustle.

Not even a natural disaster had been able to interrupt Red John's killing spree.

 

**Eggnog**

The head of Andy Newman to her right hit the table next to Lisbon's plate, but she continued eating. The food was the only pleasant thing about the annual CBI Christmas party and she wouldn't let a drunkard spoil this.

People had taken to the eggnog a lot as the party was unbearably dull. The only reason for her enduring this sober was being on duty shortly afterward.

To her left, Jane got up, went over to Andy and sniffed his face.

"And the secret ingredient is... potassium cyanide."

Poor guy. At least the party just got significantly more exciting.

 

**Three Kings**

Nothing made sense. Three victims with the last name King, killed the same day.

No relation.  
No connection.  
No murder weapon.  
No motive.  
No suspect.

Lisbon hadn't slept for nearly three days. Her mind felt slow, but she was fueled by blind ambition to solve this case. She looked up from the file when Jane softly addressed her. A spark of hope when she noticed his expression.

"It's Christmas," he said.

Of course it was, but that wasn't what he meant. Joseph and Mary Spencer, killed the day before the Kings. Jesus Garcia, the day after.

It was a start.

 

**Food**

The feast on the table looked delicious, but all family members had disgustedly fled to the next room. Lisbon inspected the human finger inside a bowl of gravy, a view that could surely spoil your appetite and ruin your Christmas.

Cho and Rigsby swarmed out to interview everyone present, but Jane went straight for the food. Unperturbed by the offensive body part, he piled seasonal delicacies onto a plate. It occurred to Lisbon that this might be the first home-cooked meal he enjoyed in years.

She decided that his next one wouldn't have to be savored at a crime scene.

 

**Carols**

The house emitted a gloomy vibe. Already yesterday, on her first time here, Lisbon had sensed it. Climbing the narrow stairs, she wondered if it had been wise to come back here alone at dusk.

Apart from the absence of the dead body on the floor, everything looked the same in the parlor. Suddenly the withering Christmas tree in the corner trembled inexplicably and she involuntarily shivered. Then she heard it, faint chimes that she eventually recognized as the melody of Joy to the World.

A chill breath at her ear.

Icy fingers at her throat.

Her scream went unheard.

 

**Decorations / Christmas Eve**

He made a list,  
he checked it twice,  
put his stuff into a bag,  
and went for a drive.

He sat behind her during midnight mass,  
waited patiently till the end  
for her to pass.

On her way home she walked alone,  
but he followed closely,  
her shadow unknown.

He stayed outside until there was no light,  
then he picked her lock  
on this holy night.

To her bedroom he went to make her his wife,  
he woke her up gently  
and showed her the knife.

She was naughty and tried to escape,  
he could not let this happen,  
so he tied her up with tape.

The sound of her screams delighted his heart,  
he had a smile on his face  
as he adorned her skin with art.

Hours later when she drew her last breath,  
he was exhausted but happy  
and marveled at the bloody mess.

He placed her body under the tree,  
decorated the wall with blood  
for everyone to see.

At home on his list he crossed out her name,  
then counted out who would be next  
with a childish game.

He crawled into bed and turned off the light,  
and dreamed of Christmas,  
magical and bright.

 

**Stockings**

The call came early on Christmas morning, when Suzanne Richmond discovered her dead husband, instead of presents, under the tree. He lay on his stomach, several puncture wounds visible on his back. Lisbon discovered no signs of forced entry to support Mrs. Richmond's theory of a burglary gone wrong. Thieves usually didn't stab people repeatedly in the back, either.

"Looks as if Suzy was a good girl," Jane grinned, fishing a jewelry box out of a stocking at the fireplace.

The second stocking there looked empty.

"I don't think so," Lisbon replied, promoting Mrs. Richmond from bereaved wife to suspect.

 

**Elves**

Santa was dead. Face down amidst an impressive North Pole setting with a knife in his back, this one wouldn't deliver any presents tonight. Several children had been around when Lisbon had arrived and she was still shaken by their obvious distress.

But, no matter how hideous the crime, Jane usually got some joy out of the situation. Currently he was chatting with some elves and, despite being taller and not dressed color-coordinated, he seemed right at home in their middle.

'At least he has another career option if crime fighting fails,' Lisbon thought, before focusing on the case again.

 

**Star**

The drive to the crime scene seemed to take forever, after the call had interrupted their first Christmas Eve together. Lisbon didn't have the heart to wake up Jane when they finally arrived in an ill-lit development area, got out of the car silently.

Taking a moment to steel herself, she looked up at the sky and was greeted by a breathtaking view. Shooting stars, raining down. She knew she was supposed to wish for something, but her weary mind didn't come up with anything.

"Beautiful," Jane suddenly whispered next to her, glancing more at her than the spectacle above.

 

**Jingle Bells**

"Can someone turn this off?" Lisbon snapped and kicked an offensive tin snowmen to emphasize her request.

Waiting for the coroner to reveal a decaying corpse, decoratively wrapped in several layers of Christmas paper, was bad enough without dozens of toys asynchronously blaring Jingle Bells. She and two officers began to silence the noisemakers one by one, but then from the other side of the room a new melody made her stop short.

"They also play White Christmas!" Jane exclaimed happily and gave Lisbon a very clear idea why someone might have felt the urge to murder their latest victim.


End file.
